The Angel of Mother ’s Love

Lorna Byrne says:
“No matter how much love you receive from your own mother, if you have a mother, this angel always enhances a mother’s love.”*

“…. and the Angel of Mother’s Love knew I needed to feel a mother’s love at that time, to feel more love, perhaps, than my mother was able to give me.”*

It seems that translating that book matches perfectly with my own emotional state.

I am really slow these days. Life is catching up on me, but I am too tired of it. Sometimes I feel like I need to run away for a week, hide somewhere with no TV, no Internet, no cell phone coverage… and all I need is a big hug to fall into and rest.

I’m sick and tired. Really! I don’t know if this has to teach me of more patience or to speak up my mind or…

But I do feel like a hospital attendant, cleaner, cook and housekeeper at the same time in the last couple of weeks.

I get up and start to clean. I have to vacuum clean the kitchen, where you sleep; the corridor and the loo, if I don’t want bring around the remains of your sickness spread on the floor, whenever you go. If I do it early in the morning, I might have to repeat the procedure in the afternoon, as new pile has spread up across the carpets.

I have to bring you food in bed. You’re too stiff to get up. I have to bear the loud TV – you can’t hear it well, because of the pain.

Oh, yes, fill in the bottles with more water, so that they’re within hand’s reach and don’t spill. Pour you a cup of juice as you want something different from the water, but you’re too stiff to get up.

And run all the small errands you want me to without complaining or saying a word.

“Don’t forget that you have to prepare dinner for your father and brother!!! Why don’t you use this and pour the liquid in that. Cut it like this, not the way you do it. Don’t forget to add…” Grrrr, stop it! I am not ten any more. And if you want me to do something, let me do it myself. I do NOT need your guidance any more. I will ask, if I do!

You can get up early and make them breakfast, but you cannot cook the dinner?!? How come? You can fold yourself to fill in the washing machine, but you can’t stretch to put the laundry on the ropes to dry up. How come?

Oh, yes. It’s easier for you someone else to do it. It’s easier just to lie in bed and complain about the acute form of your sickness. Though just a month ago you’ve seen that you can improve, ‘cause you did, and you can stay like that – it just requires a little effort. But NO! You don’t want to go and visit the doctor. You won’t eat strong food to improve. You won’t stop the coffee. You won’t eat the food I’ve prepared for the rest of the family.

You’ve heard on TV years ago that it’s incurable and it’s easier for you. It’s your excuse to expect everyone to help you and be around you. To treat you with respect and attention. To serve you. To tiptoe around you.

Well, I am sick and tired. I am pissed off. And I need rest.

I know that I won’t tell you that F2F, ‘cause even if I do and the end everyone will blame me again for your condition. I am the bad one. I am the one that cannot keep her mouth shut and tells the evil truth. I am the one who causes you distress by saying the truth and your condition aggravated again, just when you started improving.

But I’m tired and pissed off. And I’ll type it up.

I’m just wondering … who would do it for you, if I were married and lived away??

I just need a hug. A thank you now and then, for doing YOUR job.

A hug from the Angel of Mother’s Love, ‘cause I know that I won’t get one from you. You are too sick to do it (or at least that is your excuse for everything you don’t want to do).

Now I’ll get back to my translation, ‘till you beep me again to run the next errand for you.



* Both quotes are taken from Lorna Byrne’s book “Angels in my hair”

Angel of death

19 April

Call it a coincidence, but it happened again.

I am back to translating the book after 10 days of not a line. Just started the chapter about Angel of death and Lorna crying over a colleague, who is due to die, but does not have a clue about it.

And… at the same time I am chatting in Skype with a friend of mine who has a birthday today, but she’s not in a mood. I tried to cheer her up and she shared that it’s not her birthday that makes her sad, but her grandfather's condition, who is in the hospital. She’s worried about him, because she cares and feels quite attached to him.

Guided by the book, by an article read a couple of hours earlier I tried to make her feel better. I hope I really did manage to do it.

I told her instead of worrying about her grandfather to imagine all the good moments they had and to wish and image more that they will have ahead. To take these positive thoughts and send them like a wave of good energy towards her granddad hoping that he will be better off soon.

I really hope that her grandpa will be better and she’ll smile again. She’s a lovely person and her face lightens up when she’s smiling.

Hey people, think about it! Think positive instead of drowning in your sad thoughts. Wish for the good to come! It will, if the wish comes from the bottom of your heart.

Snow

8th March


Lorna Byrne describes the angels as snowflakes and how every man can fill in his or her palms and pockets with them, to carry the angels everywhere with oneself and to remember that he or she is never alone.

It's 8th March today, the sun was shining and suddenly a snow storm came up with thousands and thousands of snow flakes swirling in the air and falling thick on the ground. Like Granny March has decided to beat the dust out of her winter duvet and thousands of feathers are floating above the earth. A white fairy dancing with the wind blasts.

Winter scenery matching the translation that is pouring out of my fingers.

PISSED OFF

I am pissed off! Really!

Do I look like a babysitter? A nanny? Or am I an accountant? Or your personal assistant? Or...? Or maybe you think that I am your dog and you can whistle at me and I will run towards you waving my tail?

Well, no! No way! This time you really got me pissed off. I don't intend being any of the above and running to you every time you need something done.

If you need an accountant - hire yourself one. Instead of moaning that you cannot find one, get up in the morning instead of 2 PM; go to town instead of hiding in the house and complaining about the weather and get yourself one!!!
I am not an accountant, neither a VAT expert. Moreover, I am not interested in being one!
Doing you a favour and asking questions for you to get the situation clarified, does not mean that I've taken the "clever" pill and I know everything.

I've found you the declarations. Two pages. Just two pages! And it only takes to fill in the company data and submit them. Everyone can fill them in on a computer or by hand.

Ah yes, you expect me to get on the bus, travel 250 km one way (3 hour ride) and get to the village, to your latest hermit place, to take you by the hand and take you to the revenue agency, so that you can be present when I submit YOUR declarations. Or maybe you intended to give me a Letter of Attorney, so that I can travel another 60 km and submit them on my own?

Because you have such a short fuse that 10 minute waiting will be too much for you. Well let me tell you something. I had to wait more yesterday, when I submitted my papers.

As for the car, just to let you know, if you do it on your own - it will take at least one day waiting on the different queues. Don't know about the electricity company. Your region is serviced by a different one.

So, yes, it will take a minimum of 2 full working days to get these 3 things done. But I don't have the free time to travel around and cross half of the country, just because you're living in that house since last summer, but you haven't found yourself a new accountant yet.

And no, I don't intend to be your babysitter or show patience to your grumpiness.
I have more important and more interesting things to do than bear your moods.

So get up and go find yourself an accountant, because this time I am really pissed off!